like water... spilling out...

like water... spilling out...

i rem i couldn't be happier when i graduated from sajc.

to me, it was a place where i dun feel a sense of belonging at all.

i felt out casted, neglected and all sorta negativities. if not for the nice people like rushan, suz, christine and rina (plus some others, but i think the 4 of them accompanied the most thru out that 2 years), i don't think i can survive my 2 years there.

actually the 1st 3 months in sajc wasn't that bad. it was the times after all my close new friends left the school. i was like thrown into a sea of unknown and struggled very hard to stay alive. it's like i'm released from hell when i graduated. i thought i would never miss my jc life. :)

but while i was forced to pack my room becus i needa clear up for the ants i've killed packing my room last night, i stumbled upon a bag of old postcards and a diary shared between rushan and me. As I flipped through the pages and postcards one by one, memories came oozing back. It tasted bitterly sweet.


this bag, as it's labeled, should only contains memories from sajc


I always thought i'm out casted then. But I think it was me whom repelled the people away from me.

During my time, the angel and mortal games between junior J1 and senior J2 were errr... rather rampant. hah. I still felt ticklish when I saw my mortal's old polyclinic outpatient appointment card. because his chinese name sounds like $1, he 'thoughtfully' gave me an angpow during CNY and asked me to try using him. Hahaha.. very funny. I can't rem what I do to him in return. I bet it's nothing as innovative as his. my angel was very nice too.. but sadly, i cannot remember his name or how he looks like anymore. :( (ohh i saw my mortal in ntu before but he jitao gave me a blur look when i approached him. yes, it's very embarrassing.. :x) I have Yifeng's xmas card and postcards too. I've forgotten that she had kidnapped my mickey mouse tee until i read the postcards. She's such a sunny and cheerful girl. I remembered she won the beach girl contest or what and I was genuinely very proud of her!! :D Haha.. this is getting a bit long and thus i shall not go on from here..

I just realized, I don't hate my jc like I thought i did. I was actually very lucky to be able to experience the lovelydovely sajc environment and gotta do all the girly stuffs before i entered a course of masculine nature. sigh. It's the place where helped my character to grow a little bit stronger. But I think i grew weaker after that. :x I was more alive in jc than anywhere else. :x oh well, i'm packing the postcards back to where they belonged to. You know, i just have a soft spot for these memories. I even dreamt of Jialan (nicknamed jialat and one of the close new friend who left sajc after 3 mths) last night. Hah. Just scribbling. Time to say.. byebye!

On the 2nd day of new year~

On the 2nd day of new year~

I woke up at 3pm the 2nd time this year. After all the amount of sleep I've accumulated over the holidays, I can finally see my eyes now. :D

This afternoon, I woke up and was having some random images running through my head. Images from the past. Like the sewing room way back in secondary school. I smiled. But those are only images. Those days were simple, happy and carefree.

I remember watching this interview with Wang Sha and Ye feng (both died) when I was younger. Ye Feng (the skinny guy) said he is a person who likes to look back at the past. I could relate to him. Then this Wang Sha (the not so skinny guy) tactfully said he thinks there's no point looking at the past (to him, it's a waste of time) and we all should look into our future. I listened, and felt really unhappy with him. But now, what he said made sense to me. We can't move on if we can't let go of the past. So, in this new year, I should just look ahead and keep the memories as memories. Hmm.. well, cus they can only be memories. I can't be happier if I keep comparing the present with memories. Lalalaa~ Think less, do more! Sleep more! I shall start my spring cleaning......... soon. :p